Cannabis has a long historical link with medical applications, and it has been thought that it could "open doors" in the mind. Doors, which a person normally, involuntarily perhaps, keeps locked from the rest of society.

In the United States, doctors have used cannabis and ecstasy in the treatment of PTSD.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or "shell-shock", once thought to be a figment of a persons imagination, has come to the fore in recent years,

with many serving veterans returning home to their family's a different person to the one that left to fight a war no one quite remembers why they are fighting. 

But PTSD isn't a condition which limits itself to serving or veteran soldiers. The rigours of life are sometimes enough to cause a civilian version of PTSD, which could be brought about by a life-changing experience such as a rape, or the death of a close family member, leaving the victim quite literally "shell-shocked". Not knowing where to turn.

In many situations, the reasons behind a persons individual trauma can get lost in the mists of time until pretty soon they are not even sure themselves, what makes them tick anymore.

At other times a person may wish to speak about whats on their minds, but they simply feel they have no one to talk to. Perhaps the most dangerous situation of all?

The majority of the active cannabis community in the UK, knows its not all good news regarding cannabis, or regarding any drug for that matter, either licit or otherwise. On the flip-side, if the government would agree that its not all bad news on the cannabis issue, we would already be halfway to a more pragmatic approach to cannabis, its use, and its users.

In the first of our series on "Real People" dealing with cannabis, a British music teacher, who chose to remain anonymous for the sake of this article, gives his take on the high's, and the lows of growing, and using cannabis.

Perhaps if people were not afraid of being persecuted for a lifestyle choice, which a great many serving members of parliament once chose, we would not need to protect their identities.

My Story;
I moved to college in a different town at 18 and lived in a student hall of residence.

I had tried cannabis once before this but never felt the effects enough to say "woah im stoned!"

So I like to believe I never discovered cannabis until college.

College was the usual affair. Make friends, get drunk, get stoned and attend to the academic side of things.

I however found my high schools years had left me shy and installed an anxiety that gave me panic attacks. This was counter productive for my social life, and led to depression.

I was a confused messed up individual and getting baked was begining to outway drinking by alot. This is still the trend for me today. Maybe drink once a month.

Minimum Wage
I moved out of halls and left college for a bedsit and got a min wage job.

Life went on this way for 6 years with the occasional minimum wage job change and in those years i have done a considerable amount to get a grip on my life and overcome my disabling state of mind.

Sometimes weed helped sometimes weed didn't. I like to say it was inert.

When I was locking myself away indoors at times of high anxiety, cannabis helped to relieve it.

Anxiety
It would allow me to be distracted from the snow balling, tunnel vision thoughts that led to panic. The down side was I would over do it by going to work stoned and when you start thinking "shit I'm baked and they probably know" paranoia would set in and guess what? More panic attacks!

But its all about balance. Everyone should learn this as early in life as possible.

Now just for the record, my attacks were not of the "they're coming to get me!" kind. It was a conditioning from years of mental and physical bullying and the many different schools I attended because my father moved alot. 8 different schools can have devastating effects on a childs confidence so take heed parents.

Decisions
One of the main things I found cannabis realy helped on was decision making. Life changing decisions.

Any time I was confused about something I would think long and hard about it straight. then do the same stoned. I still do.

The biggest lie in all the (anti-cannabis) propaganda out there is that weed makes you lose your mind. Changes who you are in terms of morality and ability to make good judgements. This was definetly not the case with my experience.

As the jamacans say "sometimes ya just dont have a ganja head on".

Alcohol
Sometimes it only takes me 3 pints of beer to be falling about making a fool of myself. Sometimes I can keep up with regular drinkers. And then fall about making a fool of myself.

The only bad experiences I had have been when I got baked irresponsibly such as at work or just general over indulgence leading to .... me making a fool of myself.

Nothing that could be called scary, destabilising or damaging. Not by a long shot.

A bonus worth adding is no hangover! Maybe a stoneover. Thats a light lazyness in the morning with a touch of goofeyness. But nothing you cant shake with a coffee or a good breakfast in time to go about your day.

So thats my mental, and dare I say spiritual relationship to cannabis.

From a medicinal perspective I have a lot to thank cannabis for.

Since a young age I've been the kinda guy to climb the highest tree, make tree houses and then fall out on to my back.

A lifestyle choice
Skateboarding too. At 21 I broke my wrist really quite severly. Multiple breaks and fractures resulting in a "herbet screw" being put in to hold it together and ensure I would get full mobility back. Today I'm a profesional musician at the age of 28 so the operation was a nessecity to insure my career.

I dont want to bother anyone with boring details about wrist surgery but the human wrist is in fact the most complex set of bone mechanics in the body. Add to this closed and complex sets of tendons, nerves and blood vessels. So I was out of action for about 14 months before I played again.

Pain Relief
During that time I was put on strong painkillers that did not agree with me. They gave me incredible chest pains. So I started using cannabis as a pain killer.

Its pretty good at that as many good citizens will testify.

Even when I started playing again I was still in pain. As my medical student friend informs me, bones that break dont heal smooth and in areas of large tendon counts it can be sore. They do smooth out over time I'm grateful to hear.

So for back and wrist pains I use cannabis. For bouts of low self esteem I use cannabis. For good safe fun I choose cannabis.

Cannabis & Teaching
I hold a full time teaching job working with kids and people of all ages. I'm quite succsessfull if I do say so myself and that is due to conquering my self esteem issues.

Cannabis may have played a role in that and maybe I would have got there quicker without it. But one thing is for sure, "its not to blame for any of it", and those are the words of my "head-doctor".

I no longer get baked for work. I best say that was knocked on the head along time ago. its left for days off and evenings in now and I dont do any hard drugs.

Growing Cannabis
I grow two different strains of cannabis. A light "heady" high strain and a "pass the remote" strain.

The light heady stone is great for migrains but so is reducing caffine intake.

I choose to grow my own cannabis because its the only way to get good uncontaminated herb. And its a real pleasure!

I could lose my job. I could get jail time, for preferring to choose my own drug of choice.

Otherwise I'm not a criminal.

http://cannazine.co.uk 

If you run a cannabis/marijuana related website, and would like to exchange links with the Canna Zine, drop us a line on 'backlinks (at) cannazine.co.uk explaining who and where you are and we'll take it from there.