The Ruminator of Hypothetics & Possible Outcomes once had an idea. It was an idea so profound that it worried him.
He had come to realise that production of hemp products would secure a safe future for humankind. He immediately went to see other officials to see if they agreed.
He first approached The Procrastinator of Impossibilities, but he just said, “ lets wait and see shall we”?
Original artwork by NorrisNuvo
The Keeper of the Orthodox Sanity of Nations laughed long and loud at this concept, deeming it the most insane of ideas, stating that although it might solve the fuel and food problems faced, he feared that the population might begin to consume the psychoactive element of the plant, which would lead to widespread insanity.
The members of the Coercion Council of Unsolicited Dreams agreed with the Keeper of the Orthodox Sanity and added that the consumption of the plant would give rise to dreams outside of the ‘normal’ and officially laid down rules for dreaming. “Oh no, we could not have people dreaming dreams which are outside of the law, no, that would never do
The Royal Anti-Altruism League was in full agreement, “If people used cannabis it would make them think, and then they might start acting less selfishly and that could lead to outbreaks of altruism”, he shuddered, “Imagine if altruism went pandemic?” The Reactive Monitors of Perceived Radicalisation cried, “It will lead only to radical and unofficial thoughts.
You mark my words. It will lead to trouble”
However the Auditor of Blatant Consumption, after some nifty work on his calculator, bellowed “8 Billion a year in taxes mind, with a projected initial increase in consumption, falling to a lower average after six months, a very viable project indeed”!
The Deniers of Blatant Actualities disagreed
The Minister of Corrective Orthodox Practice admitted that they already have trouble in controlling cannabis and if the plan went ahead they would need a larger budget to enforce orthodox practice among the countries citizens.
The controller of the Dept of Perception Adjustment and Reality Erasers, looked worried and said, “It would lead to terrible consequences in the dept of Perception Erasers as once the people began to use cannabis their perception would widen and make it much more difficult to erase and replace reality.
The Keeper of the Single Thought, paled and excused himself saying that his concentration was being interrupted by this conversation and that even the very thought of an enlightened population would lead people into thinking for themselves.
He shuddered and left the meeting.
The Director of the Society for the Prevention of Dichotomy asked everyone to quickly come to an agreement as it seemed that the creation of two opposing ideas was imminent.
The Minister of Obvious but Never Challenged Untruths, just smiled and said, “We can always pretend that hemp and cannabis do not exist, just ignore it and it will go away”.
The Corporation of Broken Promises agreed and added, “We have always lied to the people, why change things?”
The Keeper of the Secret History That Never Was nodded enthusiastically.
The Rector of Disbelief, shouted, “legalise cannabis! I do not believe it!” The Lamenting Bastions of Insecure Belief agreed that he did not believe it
“Well, we could always confuse them with conflicting information”, the leader of the Ministry of Everlasting Confusion, muttered.
“Dichotomy is looming over us, choices are being presented, we cannot give the people real choices”, howled The Director of the Society for the Prevention of Dichotomy
The Dept of Whispering whispered among themselves.
The Undesired Bargainers and Loudmouth Guild of Protective Acts shuffled their feet and muttered, “what about the children”, and The Pessimistic Brotherhood of Woe joined in with, “We’re doomed, doomed, doomed.”
The Blameless Bystander of Indifference and Ignorance was about to speak out on behalf of the people when The Abysmal Proctor of Unfinished Business, called the meeting to an end, “Lets leave it for another day shall we?”
And that, is the situation regarding cannabis and hemp today.
The Cannabis Lobby is looking for 'creatives' to help hi-light the injustices of this governments irrational stance against cannabis, whilst alcohol abuse is allowed to run rife throughout society. Please join us and add your creative edge to the campaign for science based cannabis policy.
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