Having just spent the afternoon browsing through an Ikea catalogue, furnishing a house I don’t yet have, something the Scandinavian flat-pack giant uses as part of their marketing struck a chord with me - a dyed in the wool indoor grower, and its nothing to do with how easy it is to convert one of their double wardrobes into a stealthy grow cabinet either.

The whole Ikea ethos has been built using the foundation of “why pay for something when you can do it yourself”. The history and growth of the flat-packed phenomena needs no pre-amble from me as its well documented elsewhere, but it rarely causes concern so long as the situation is only as dangerous as the side of an ill-constructed wardrobe falling on your head.

Once the phone stops ringing in your ears and the angels and bluebirds cease orbiting your painfully swollen noggin, you can get on with adding more sellotape and blue-tac in a bid to get the offending article to stay put - at least until she who must be obeyed has had time to put enough items to clothe a medium sized third world town inside it.

Flat pack wardrobes are one thing, but would you buy a flat pack, build-it-yourself electricity generator? Or a DIY microwave oven? Me neither!

So this got me to thinking about other, more hazardous items in everyday use, which, in the name of saving a few pounds, (euros, dollars etc), is despatched from the manufacturers uncompleted. In kit form.

The reasoning being, if they don’t have to employ as many children as their nearest rival, they can sell their goods a lot cheaper, saving the god-fearing public untold pounds in manufacturing costs.

“We pass the savings on to you” the marketing hype reads. But the fact of the matter is, there is a lot more to take into consideration than just saving £20 on the price of the equipment you want to plug in for (upto) 4 months at a time, safe in the knowledge your not going to return to where your home used to be, to find the local fire chief tapping his pencil as he waits for the local drug squad to finish dredging through the remains of your 2 up 2 down.

Over the course of the last 5 years or so, the growth in the hydroponics industry has grown exponentially year on year, outstripping other, bona-fide industries and leaving them trailing behind. The success of eBay and similar auction sites has no doubt played a massive part in this growth, as the paranoid grower needs to go no further than the nearest PC, whip out his flexible friend, and spend umpteen hundreds (sometimes thousands) of pounds on growing gear.

Bearing in mind the hydroponics industry is essentially, unregulated, the odds of there being no come backs from such a transaction are firmly stacked against you. In short, you would be better off going to one of the online poker sites that are attempting to mirror hydroponics in the growth stakes, and spending your money there.

I could go on to list absolutely container loads of dodgy equipment which seems to sneak through the so called safety standards net electrical manufacturers are mean to adhere to, in a bid to ensure the equipment you buy is safe to use, but for this first look at what’s hot and what’s not in the growing equipment department, I wanted to look at HID lighting ballasts.

There has been a trend of late, which sees eBay and the like rammed full of “cheap” ballasts, which look like the inside of a domestic burglar alarm box, but without the casing.

Cunningly disguised by some creative naming (assimilation lights), as far as I can see they are nothing but a health and safety risk which should be left well alone, but before we go any further lets make one thing clear. I have absolutely no links with any lighting manufacturers whatsoever. This isn’t a witch hunt (although if Which? Magazine were to get involved these DIY bonfire kits wouldn’t get anywhere near the latest edition except per-chance, as a warning against buying them).

What I do have however is a healthy fear of electricity. It tends to hurt as it makes its way up your arm and into your heart, possibly stopping it quite literally “dead” as it looks for (and finds) the easiest and quickest route to earth!
Lazy stuff is electricity.

With this in mind I would no more attempt to put together a HID lighting ballast as I would use an angle-grinder to trim my toe nails. And on that distasteful thought I’ll close this particular article with the following;

There are plenty of ways you can save a few quid when it comes time to putting your grow room together. But some industrial strength lighting isn’t one of them so far as I can see.

If you need to cut corners, why not make your own compost. Brew your own “worm humus tea”, or build yourself a hydro set which Blue Peter presenter John Noakes (get DOWN shep) would have been proud of.

But when it comes to high powered electrical equipment, do your homework. Look for safety standards, or ask around on Internet forums such as www.ukcultivator.biz, for recommendations of what other growers are using.

If you are planning to grow at home, its not only your life you are risking. She who must be obeyed will be PISSED, if you burn her house down. Especially if you had to beg for permission to grow with promises of decorating, shopping without moaning about it, or other, more “viscous” and sticky favours.

For the sake of your safety, that of your family, as well as your possible liberty, make sure the equipment you buy is up to the job you want it do to, and if you got to complete the manufacturing process yourself, leave it where it is, no matter how attractive that £20 saving may seem.

Stay safe!